Only as a high value man can we ensure that a woman is engaged with us and attracted to us. It is the state of our inner strength and health that impacts how our partners feel and interact with us.
A thriving relationship needs you to be on top of your emotional, spiritual and physical game. This is never easy, but nessessary if you are to furfil your relationship needs. By transforming yourself into a high value man, you can transform your relationship.
It is a confusing time to be a man, there are so many mixed messages and influences on who we are and what we should be to our partners, our children, at work and in society. The reality is that many men feel lost, fashioning our identity and value upon false idols, forever changing stereotypes, female opinion or outdated male personas that previously provided the bedrock of what it meant to be a man. This has left many men without the skills to build and maintain healthy relationship. Both fearful or reluctant to be vunerable and with an inability to communicate effectively we cannot show any sign of weakness.
Take action, take control
If you are, or have ever been in a dark place within your relationship then it’s important to understand that you can only change what is in your control. You need to understand how your thoughts and emotions influence your decisions and behaviours through some deep inner work.
Seeking out the council of a trusted non-judgemental person or group, journaling, blogging and essential learning (podcasts, books audiobooks, videos or courses) are massively helpful. Removing the complex thoughts and emotions from out of your head creates the space for self-awareness and inner peace. A man who has low self worth behaves negatively, an attitude that will drive people away and where insecurities produce negative behaviours.
A man with confidence and a strong sense of self will be more likely to stride through life effortlessly and become a ‘high-value man’. What is clear is that living your life for your relationship and the approval of your partner is a typical behaviour of a ‘Nice Guy’. This will never bring the happiness and fulfilment we seek. The winning mindset is actually very simple – to be the real authentic you. Confident, happy, funny, interesting, spontaneous, energetic to name but a few.
For us to sustain a healthy and happy relationship we need to take responsibility for ourselves. When you focus on yourself you will naturally demonstrate high-value behaviours to your partner which is all your woman really wants from you. For me, whenever I have proceeded to demonstrate more low-value behaviours than high value behaviours within my relationships, it was never very long before they were over.
I have summarised some common low-value behaviours vs high-value behaviours that you may recognise. If you are conducting more low-value than high value then you need to reclaim yourself.
The low-value man: Behaviours and traits
- Scruffy, dirty or untidy in appearance
- Negative attitude or thinker (these are needy or victim based)
- Lack of control during conflict or pressure i.e. if you freeze and feel anxious and not able to express yourself
- Lose emotional control i.e. aggression, jealousy or possessiveness
- Unhealthy i.e. overweight with low energy with no dietary discipline
- Complaining about ANYTHING!
- Failing her shit tests
- Breaking things or loosing things, especially hers
- No follow through on promises
- Financial mistakes (being bad with money)
- Not listening or being present with her
- Low confidence or self loathing
- Procrastination or indecision (“…whatever you want to do, I don’t mind”
- Dressing to impress others
- No or low social value
- Lack of income
- Day dreaming
- Untidy or disorganised
- Bad manners
- Overly sensitive
- Lazy or passive
The high-value man – Traits and behaviours
- Take pride in your appearance (grooming and health) for yourself
- Always have a positive attitude
- Be decisive/ make decisions/ take action (leadership) & take charge
- Be stoic under pressure
- Have a strong frame
- Display Experience and wisdom
- Be confident (self-aware/ accepting) & charismatic
- Set and maintain reasonable boundaries (values & pass shit tests)
- Be a good example to kids
- Responsible/disciplined with money
- Get jobs done (responsibilities)
- Speak your mind
- Display strong social value be a pivot (demand + centre)
- Fix things – around the house (correctly)
- Take responsibility for health and fitness
- Be playful, energetic and fun
- Hold intelligent conversation
- Solve problems
- Take charge
- Prioritize good health and vitaliyt
- Control your emotions and be rational
- Be present (listen and focus)
- Drive and direction
- Assertive & initiative